Memories and Loss
by cinithea
Summary: Jack and Daniel must deal with the conflict between them when Jack is suspicious of a temporary new member of SG-1.
1. Chapter 1

_Set early season 5... some spoilers for most of those seasons. _

_The story deviates just a bit from Canon, especially at the end, so I'll consider it as AU. _

_Warnings: Character death, a bit of violence and some bad language.  
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_Original character will not be mary-sue-ish. (she's just a means to an end)  
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_Please review. Let me know anything you like or don't like. There is a reason for Jack being so not-Jack. It will get worse as the story goes, just to warn you.  
_

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P3x-881

SG-1 emerged from the gate and were met with cold rain. Not as cold as Antarctica, thought Jack O'Neill, but still damn cold. "Whadaya got, Carter?" He looked at rolling hills. Not much else, just rolling hills.

Carter squinted her eyes as she looked up at him. "Nothing much, but the UAV showed some EM emissions to the west. Maybe I'll get something if we head in that direction. And there seemed to be some man-made structures that way, so it's possible there might be some life-forms- or at least their remains."

"OK, kids. Let's make sure we stay close; I don't want to have to go looking for anyone. Daniel?" Jack tilted his head.

"Jack?" Daniel didn't look at Jack. He knew if he did, all he'd see would be faint disgust and a bit of coldness in Jack's face. Did he need to see it? No, he didn't. Because what he didn't see couldn't hurt him.

"Don't run off anywhere. And for cryin out loud, don't touch anything!" Jack turned to Teal'c. "Take point, T. We'll head west until we hit the top of the second hill then make camp. All right, move out!"

The ground underneath their feet was soft and slippery from rain, so it took them most of the day to reach the site. They quickly made a fire and set up the tents. Since there was nothing more to do, they sat just inside their tents quietly talking for a while. Jack directed most of his comments to Sam and Teal'c, and Daniel remained uncharacteristically silent. No one seemed to notice, or they pretended not to notice the increasing distance between these two men who had been so close before.

"Alright, campers, time to get some shut-eye. I'll take first watch, then Carter, Teal'c and lastly, Daniel. That way he can make his own coffee." Jack cringed a bit at the tone his voice took, especially since Carter gave him a surprised and disapproving glance. Deliberately narrowing his eyes, his face told her to mind her own business.

Jack listened as the sounds of his team settling in faded into the sounds of the night. Slowly, he became aware of the familiar sounds of Daniel having a nightmare. The whisper of his sleeping bag against his clothing, the occasional gasp, a choking noise. At one time, Jack would have woken Daniel, but not any more. Now, he just sat and stared into the fire as Daniel lived- or relived- some horror. Hands clenched in front of him, he looked at the ground, then at the sky. He could hear Daniel crying in his sleep, saying, "No!", "Shar'e" and something in another language that Jack would translate as "I'm in hell, please let me die." He almost went to wake his friend, but he heard Teal'c stirring.

"O'Neill,are you not disturbed by DanielJackson's nightmare?" Teal'c tilted his head in that oh-so-Teal'c way. His head slowly angled towards Daniel's tent.

"Yeah, I am. And you know what? I'm not his mother. I can't wake him up and hold his hand every time he has a bad dream." Jack silenced the small voice that whispered, _But you almost saw him as a son_.

"Since DanielJackson's parents are dead and you are a male, I am aware of that fact." Teal'c returned his gaze to Jack. "However, I did believe you were his friend. I will wake him, for I am indeed his friend."

Jack grimaced. Teal'c was a master at stating the obvious, but meaning something altogether different. He knew the team didn't understand what was happening between the two men. He could hear Teal'c speaking softly and Daniel answering with his standard "I'm fine, thanks."

Within minutes, Carter was crawling out of her tent. Yawning, she moved closer to the fire. "What's going on, Colonel?"

Jack felt his face twitch, but thought he managed to keep it pretty cool. "Just another one of Daniel's late night drama fests." Inwardly, he slapped his own head. When had he become so damn callous?

"Sir, what-" Carter's voice was full of disbelief and anger.

"Carter, it's about time for you to take watch. I'm gonna get some sleep." He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk to her about it. Hell, to be honest, he didn't want to even think about it.

Three days later, after listening to Daniel babble about the ruins they'd found, and Carter rambling about the weird little device- one that wouldn't serve any military function- he was ready to go home. There hadn't been anything to do other than walk around and look at the very boring scenery. Hills that went for miles. And he had searched for something else to see, besides that damn pile of rocks. Thankfully, this was one mission where he didn't have to find the missing archaeologist, rescue the captured archaeologist or save the dying archaeologist He was tired of having to be Daniel's parent- chasing after his little kid all day and making sure he ate, slept and washed behind his ears. After all, his real son was dead.

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When they came through the gate, General Hammond was waiting in the control room. "SG-1, I'm glad you made it back. I take it the mission was uneventful?"

"Yeah, just rocks and junk. Same old, same old." Jack removed his cap and slapped it on his thigh. He tilted his head. "Except not really. No aliens tried to kill us."

Hammond nodded. "Head to the infirmary for your post mission physical. We'll debrief in one hour."

Janet went through the routine, asking Jack to wait. When they were alone, she turned a direct- and very piercing look to Jack. "What is going on with you and Daniel?" Yep, direct and to the point.

"Nothing at all, Doctor." He'd be damned if he'd say anything. What was going on between them was between them. No, it wasn't anyone's business at all.

The doctor sighed. "Colonel, you know that if I see something that I think is detrimental to the team's ability to complete a mission, I have to report it to the General. And I'm seeing some kind of friction between you and Daniel." She stared at him, seeing him take her point. "If this continues, I'm going to recommend that both of you talk to the base psychiatrist. Dr. Mackenzie might be able to help."

"Macintire. That rat! I won't talk to him, and neither will Daniel. Hell, Daniel would need a real psychiatrist if you made him talk to him." Memories of Daniel in that padded room, apologizing for being "such a headcase" would haunt him forever. He shook off the memory.

"Well, it's up to you, Colonel. You either fix this, or I will have to do something about it. This kind of tension could lead to some real problems in the field. I don't want to have to go over your head, but for your own well-being, I will." That mulish set to her face told Jack that Dr. Frasier meant it.

"OK, I'll, um talk to him."

He walked to the briefing room, expecting that his team would be waiting for him with General Hammond. And they were, along with someone else. A spit shined marine stood at attention as the General spoke softly to her. She was pretty short for a marine, he thought. His next thought was that she had the same kind of expressive face as Teal'c. In a word, expressionless. He thought she might be kinda pretty, with light brown hair pulled up into some kind of twist and a decent bit of curve (he was a man, as well as a soldier, and he couldn't help seeing things like that). Yeah, not too bad- if she wasn't made of stone.

Taking his seat, with his feet propped on the chair next to him, he said, "General" and sent a pointed look at the stranger in the room.

Hammond made the introductions, then indicated the marine should sit. He watched her move to the closest seat, the one next to Daniel. He studied her, noting that she didn't relax, making her stand out all the more. The members of his team were tired, and it showed in their slumped postures. Something seemed familiar about her, but he couldn't remember what. He shrugged it off.

They went through the usual debriefing. Daniel criticized his lack of interest. Carter was enthusiastic about backward engineering her doodad, and he yawned and made digs at the Doctors. Teal'c more or less just listened. He seemed to be studying the marine. Jack kept shooting curious looks at the stranger, wondering what she was doing there. His best guess was that she worked with another organization bent on 'investigating' the SGC.

"SG-1, I am assigning Major Anna Baker to your unit. Temporarily. I will send each of you a copy of her file, but wanted to introduce you all before you have some down time. Maybe you all could get to know each other a little before your fist mission." Hammond stared at Jack. "Understood, Colonel?"

Not in any mood for this, or actually anything but his couch and a beer, Jack didn't bother trying to be polite. "General, please. A four man team works just fine."

"Colonel, I was asking if you understood your orders, not if you agreed with them"

"Yeah, well, sir, she's a marine, first of all, and second, well, she's a girl." He closed his eyes as he felt Carter's gaze bore into his forehead. "I mean, we already have one-" Oh, wonderful job Jack, why not just mention PMS and crying while you're digging your hole. "Does she specialize in anything? Can she do anything for a first contact team?"

"Jack! My decision is final, and 'she' is standing in the room with us. I would like your behavior to reflect well upon the uniform you're wearing." Hammond had such a nice way of making you feel like dirt. "Dismissed." He disappeared into his office.

"Yes, sir." Not addressing the new member of the crew, he turned and asked Teal'c if he was still on for fishing this weekend.

"Indeed, I am, O'Neill. I will meet you in one hour in your office." Teal'c inclined his head to each person in the room, including the new guy, er, gal. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Major."

"Thank you, sir." The marine, Major Baker, whatever, was calling Teal'c sir. Ha, see, she was already showing she didn't fit in. He smirked, waiting for Teal'c to deliver his usual subtle insult.

"Major Baker, I do not prefer to be addressed as 'sir'. I am called Teal'c." He tilted his head at her and his lips twitched in a small smile. Jack let his feet hit the floor. His jaw dropped at his friend's next words and the slightly disapproving look he sent him. "I do, however, welcome you to SG-1, for however long you are assigned." Jack watched the Jaffa leave the room.

"Well, sir, Daniel, Major, I'm going to visit my brother, so I'll see you all on Monday. Nice meeting you." Carter rose and walked to the door. She smiled down at the outsider. Oh, he knew what she was doing- making a quick get-away. "I'll try to talk to you before the briefing. See you!" And she was gone.

Leaving Jack with Daniel, who'd been uncharacteristically silent since the introduction, and the Other Girl. He didn't' have anything against marines, but he didn't have to like having a new member assigned to his team without George talking it over with him before hand. He wanted to find out what the hell was going on. He got up, muttered a "See ya later" and made a beeline for Hammond's office. His hand was on the doorknob when he got it.

"The Mechanical Marine!" He jabbed a finger in her direction. "I know who you are, Ferretti pointed you out to me one time. Great!" Flinging open the door, he stomped into the office. The remaining two people could hear indistinct voices. Daniel was shocked at just how rude Jack was being. Treating him badly was one thing, but... well, it wasn't right.

Daniel sat for a minute, then turned to the newest member of his team. "Uh, don't take it personally, Jack just doesn't do change very well. Well, he really doesn't do people very well, most of the time either, so if he has to do both..." his voice trailed off. Biting his lip, he looked at the woman. She was staring at him with no expression on her face, except for her eyes. There was a good bit of irritation and some hurt . "Um, ok, I have to ask. Mechanical Marine? Are you an artificial life form?"

Anna stared at him for a second. She blinked. Anywhere else in the world... But here, the question might actually be serious. She just didn't know. Her mouth curved very slightly. "Uh, no, I'm human, Dr. Jackson."

He shot her a smile. "Just kidding. Well, I think if we're going to be on the same team you should call me Daniel. I really don't go for the whole-" he waved his hand- "formal military thing. No offense, of course." He blinked at her from behind his glasses.

"Alright, then, Daniel. Thanks." She stood. "I guess I'll see you Monday." He watched her leave the briefing room, wondering what Jack's problem was. Daniel had the feeling she was as much an outsider as he had been- or was still, depending on Jack's mood. He got the sense she was used to being alone and isolated, something he could relate to. And though she seemed to lack all emotion, he had seen her eyes blazing green intensity while she discretely observed them all in turn. He thought it might be interesting to see what happened next.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N Oh, wow! No, this isn't our nice Jack... yes, he's more extreme in places than the movie version, but there is a reason for that... (rubbing hands together)...wait for it.  
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_Nyx Ro, I've gone ahead and fixed the artificial life form thing. I actually had in mind that Daniel was joking, but it didn't come out quite that way. There is a reason for a weird Jack who can't control himself and acts pretty angry all the time, but telling you would give away too much. Thank you so much, the review was very helpful. I've already completed the story, but that doesn't mean I can't make changes if need be.  
_

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"Jack, what's going on?" Daniel looked at him solemnly.

"What?"

"I don't know what's happening to you, but something is."

Jack's anger choked him. That caring look on Daniel's face just...Calm down, you're in control. You need to breath. "Just tired, Danny-boy. Been a long few months." He smiled, hoping it looked genuine.

"Yes, it has." Daniel's eyes were uncertain behind his glasses. "What did I do exactly, Jack? I don't know why you're so angry with me."

"Just tired. Of things. Life. Not you." Good answer, Jack, why don't you just ask to be sent to the shrink.

"I don't think that's it, but, um, if you need to talk, or something, I'm here." Daniel peered at him expectantly.

Jack wanted to. Oh, how he wanted to tell his friend everything. But he couldn't let anyone know. If he did they'd use it against him. They'd take everything away from him. He started to sweat. "No, I'm good." He left Daniel standing there with a confused and hurt look on his face.

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Three weeks later...

"So, what did I tell ya?" Jack was ranting in his office while Teal'c stood stoically near the door. "That damn marine does not belong on my team! What the hell was she thinking? Huh?"

"I believe she was considering the fact of our imminent capture, O'Neill" The big Jaffa lifted that eyebrow. "I am inclined to be grateful for her assistance."

Jack grimaced. "If Daniel hadn't had to poke his head in that temple, we wouldn't have had any problems. Go through the 'gate, gather some information, go home. End. But what does old Dr. Jackson do?" Try to kill himself.

Teal'c cocked his head and that eyebrow went up.

"I'll tell ya, he just has to look at one more ruin. Their most sacred ruin. And no," he waved his hand, "I don't think it was on purpose, it never is. What was he thinking? Nothing to do with safety, I'd bet. He never looks for danger, just bounces around like a little boy." _Like Charlie_, he thought. He pushed the image of Charlie out of his mind.

"He didn't even notice the locals waving spears at us! And that marine, coming in and turning it into chaos! We're lucky we made it out." He was just gathering steam to continue his tirade, but Teal'c broke in.

"O'Neill, MajorBaker was merely causing a disturbance to facilitate our escape. Her distance from the crowd was too great for her to have been in any danger. I believe you would have acted in a similar manner." Ach! Logic and reason. Got him every time.

"Ok, so it worked. But don't you think she could have gotten permission from her commanding officer first? A simple message over the radio?" There, that was a logical point.

"O'Neill, is there something wrong with your memory?" Teal'c stared at him.

"What?" Jack blinked and stared.

"The warriors had taken our equipment, including our radios."

Jack swallowed. He scowled. "That's not the point. The point is that he- she could have gotten us killed!"

"Are you angry with Major Baker or DanielJackson?"

"Both! I'm tired of pulling Daniel's ass out of fires all the time. I won't have him die on me again." He swallowed, near tears. Whoa, that was wrong. Jack didn't do weepy unless someone died, and then it was in total privacy.

"I think you are having difficulty with something other than MajorBaker. Perhaps a visit to the infirmary would be wise." Jack stared at his friend as he walked out the door. Well, hell, he thought. Maybe he needed sleep. Maybe he needed a vacation. He needed something.

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Anna hissed as Dr. Janet Frasier cleaned her hands with antiseptic. "I think you'll live," she told her with a small, warm smile. "These are mostly just light scratches. And your shoulder is just bruised."

"Thank you, doctor. Am I free to go?" Anna just wanted out of here. Anywhere there was medical equipment threw her into a state of jittery nerves. What if someone learned what she was doing? She had to keep her head.

Janet frowned a bit, but she snapped off her gloves and gave her a nod. "Just make sure you come back if there's any indication of infection."

Nodding, Anna slid off the bed and started getting dressed. Don't say anything, she thought, just go away. Her tense shoulders relaxed as she pulled on the rest of her clothes.

Deciding to work in her office until the debriefing, she was surprised to see that someone was sitting there waiting for her. Her step faltered just a bit as she entered the room. O'Neill and Daniel. Who else? The Colonel must have come to tear her a new one for doing things her own way. Again.

She stood in the doorway, schooling her face into its customary lack of expression. Blanking her eyes, she waited. She knew this game. She took the opportunity to study her CO. His face was lined with experience, his eyes told her that he could be as cold as ice, or as compassionate as a saint. He had a sense of responsibility that went way too deep, and guilt that was rooted even deeper. She knew all about his previous work. After all, she'd been in the same line of work until her work at NID. Her palms started to sweat. Oh, no, we won't go in that direction, she thought.

"What the hell were you doing out there, Major?" Here we go, she thought.

"Providing the means for the team to fall back to the Stargate, Colonel." She knew he hated the way she spoke, all military formality and regulation. But it made her feel in control, so too bad for him. She needed all the control she could get. It was the only thing keeping her whole.

"So, felt like a good riot, didja?" O'Neill stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I mean, you didn't think Daniel could have talked our way out of there?"

"No, sir, I didn't. He didn't understand the language. And the hostiles were not interested in talking." Oh, boy. She could almost see the steam rising off his head now.

"And you know this how? Aht!-" a hand sliced through the air- "He'd have gotten the hang of it. Daniel could talk a damn starving man outta a steak, Baker. You don't decide when things aren't working, I do. Not you. You take orders. From me."

"Sir, I'm aware of Dr. Jackson's abilities. However, the leader gave the order to kill you all. That didn't imply that a peaceful solution was possible. Sir."

"I don't give a rat's-"

Silent until now, Daniel broke in. "You could understand the language?" Daniel had had trouble identifying it, though he'd guessed it had some similarities to a remote dialect in spoken in Medieval Hungary. "What language was it, and how do you know it and why didn't we know you knew it? Why wasn't it in your file that you know an alien language?"

Oh, damn. She'd screwed up. "That is classified information, Doctor." She needed to get control of herself.

"Classified?" She could hear anger and shock in the Colonel's voice. "I think I have clearance to hear this." He turned to leave, and she knew where he was headed.

Keeping her voice even, Anna said as calmly as she could, "Not for this, Sir." She held his eyes. "You can speak to General Hammond if you feel it necessary, but he won't be able to tell you anything."

Smiling, his eyes cold and dark, he snarled back at her, "I know you're hiding something, and I'm going to find out what." She couldn't stop the involuntary flinch. Bullseye. He knew. Part of her wished he knew all of it.

In the briefing room, she kept her posture rigid, waiting for the explosion. She was sitting next to Teal'c who remained silent, but the other members of SG-1 did not.

"What do you mean it's need to know?! I need to know!" O'Neill stated in a low voice.

"This information would have been useful before we 'gated out, sir!" Carter sounded frustrated.

"I think someone knowing alien languages is something that I should have been made aware of." Jackson was definitely peeved.

Hammond held up his hands. "Hold on!" He leaned back in his chair, then sat forward again. "Major Baker, do you have a good explanation for why your file is incomplete?"

"Sir, I can't tell you anything." Under the table, her hands were clenched, but she thought she did a pretty good imitation of being composed. "Only a presidential order can release me from the non-disclosure. You can call him, sir, and request permission to view my entire file." She felt Hammond's stare as she lifted a hand to her cup and sipped her now cold coffee.

"Oh, sir, come on! We go to other planets, fercryinoutloud!"

"I _will_ look into it." He seemed to be warning them all. "Now, tell me what happened on PX4-991."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N since this story was written a couple of years ago, and it's all done, I'm just going to post them. It really loses something in the waiting, I think._

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Jack followed Anna as she walked down the hall. He knew this place better than anyone, except maybe Siler. She would have crept to the basement without being seen, if Jack hadn't been watching her. She was headed to the old files. What, exactly she wanted from old mission reports he had no idea. But she entered to room- why?- and stayed. For three hours. What was she doing? He was going to keep this to himself, for now. He couldn't trust the others. The might be working with her. He sat after she left, thinking of possible reasons. As the day grew longer, he grew drowsy. Drifting off to sleep, he wondered what he was doing in the lower levels.

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Daniel had dozed off in his office, but knew he'd have to go home eventually. They had 3 days of down-time. He had an urge to see how Anna was doing. He saw he office door was closed, so he gave a quick knock and walked in. She stuffed some papers under a folder with a start.

"Working for vacation?" He asked with a smile. "I thought that was just something we scientists did."

"If O'Neill wants information, he'll have to do better than sending you." She turned away, but not before he saw a shadow pass over her eyes. "You can flash your pretty blue eyes all you want, I'm not discussing it."

"Uh, actually, I'd be the last person Jack would send for that. He's not too happy with me...Pretty blue...? Never mind." He grimaced. "Look, we can't work together if we don't ... I mean, we have to trust each other and _know_ we can trust each other."

She whirled around, finally giving him a glimpse of the person underneath the facade. Her face filled with bitterness. "Doctor Jackson, I'm the last person you want to trust."

"What?"

"I'm very sorry Dr. Jackson. I think you should go. I," she paused for a moment. "prefer not to socialize with people I work with."

"Uh, ok. Well, sorry to bother you." Daniel was a bit miffed, but he still saw that darkness in her eyes. Not dark as in evil, but dark as in absence of light. She turned and walked to the doorway. He followed.

"Maj- Anna?" He walked through, but stopped just in the hall. "I don't know what your story is, but we're good people here. If you need something..."

She stiffened, but didn't look at him. "Get the hell out of my office." The words were vicious, but he heard the slight catch in her voice.

"Um, no, I think I'll stay." He stood in the doorway, waiting. "I can't leave until I know you're alright."

She gave a bitter laugh. "Well, I guess you'll be here awhile." Flipping the lights, she turned and locked her door. Her hands tightened into fists and she looked at him with something wild and frantic in her eyes. Was she going to hit him? No, she just wanted to. Hm.

"You know it wouldn't solve anything? I mean, you know, violence."

"Dr. Jackson, you'd be surprised by the things violence can solve." She stood in front of him. "I just want to do my job and be left alone."

"Why do you act like that? Like nothing matters to you?"

"Because it doesn't." She met his eyes without flinching.

With sudden clarity, Daniel knew. It all made sense. The way she stayed aloof from everyone,the secrecy about her past. She was trying to hide from something- or hide something from everyone. "It's okay, you know, to be afraid of something."

He could almost see her resolve fading, he saw a tremor in her body, but then she stiffened. Suddenly, she turned back to him. "You don't know anything." There was something desperate in her voice, and he decided not to push.

"If you need someone, well, I'm not great at doing the talking thing, but I am good at listening... So."

He almost thought she might give in, but she just narrowed her eyes and said, "No."

...meanwhile

Jack sat in his chair, baiting his hook. That he would never catch a fish was a given, but he had to relax. He felt an almost overwhelming impulse to go back to Colorado Springs and check on Daniel. No, he needed to go back. His breathing hitched. Something could have happened to Daniel. Anything could have happened to Daniel. He knocked the chair over in his hurry to get to his truck. He didn't pack anything, didn't lock anything. He drove down towards the highway, his mind focused on saving Daniel. Trouble, Baker, Daniel. Rolling around in his head. Suddenly, he jammed the brakes. What was he doing? He let his head drop to the steering wheel. What was wrong with him?

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Something had made Jack even more tense and angry. He figured it was the marine. Daniel couldn't understand just what it was about her that had made Jack take such an instant dislike to her. Not that anyone understood what was going on with him.

Gathered in the briefing room, they got all the information on the next planet. Jack barely paid any attention to Carter, since the bottom line was that there seemed to be no life around the gate. No life, no weapons for fighting the Goau'ld. There were some buildings left there, though, so I guess we'll mosey on in and dig in the dirt for a while. They were scheduled to leave in four hours.

As the others gathered papers, he realized they were done. He followed slowly. Without even thinking about it, he went to Daniel's office. He had to reason some things out, but needed a devil's advocate. Still, he hesitated, somehow knowing this was the wrong thing to do. "Hey. Wanted to throw some things at you."

Daniel looked at him over his glasses. "What?"

"Well, I asked around about Major Baker-"

"Jack!"

"Daniel."

"That is so wrong." Daniel pushed up his glasses. "An invasion of privacy."

"Oh, listen to me. She was black ops, Daniel. Into stuff that was rougher than my stuff, even." Jack watched Daniel's eyebrows climb before dropping and his face scrunched up into that look that said 'thinking'. "I don't know what it was, but I got the impression my friends didn't want involved in even telling me what they know. Do you know what that means, Danny-boy? It means she's bad. Worse than me."

"Jack... You aren't that bad." Was all Daniel said. He still had that look, and Jack wondered what he was thinking.

"Daniel, you aren't getting the point!" Switching direction, he jabbed a finger at the archaeologist "Do you know why they call her the 'Mechanical Marine'? Because she was an killer and so damn good at her job that she was like a machine. She didn't have any compassion, Daniel, no hesitation when she was ordered to kill. That makes for a big problem. I don't want her watching my back." I think she did something to me, he wanted to add, but the words wouldn't come. They'd lock him up for sure, since he'd already had Janet do blood tests. They were normal. When she'd asked why, he'd made a comment about not feeling quite right. He still wasn't right.

Daniel sighed. "Jack, do you trust me?"

"What? This isn't about you, Daniel. This is about our whole team's safety."

"Jack, do you trust me?" He repeated it softer this time, trying to tell Jack that it was important. "Because if you do, if you trust me at all, listen to me. I don't believe that." Seeing Jack's expression of his use of her first name, he closed his eyes. Jack wouldn't listen. Once he got an idea in his head, there was no prying it loose.

"Anna? First names already? Oh, she went for the weak link!"

Jack wasn't paying attention, so didn't see Daniel's hurt and anger. "Wait a minute! I'm not weak, Jack! I may not be a soldier, but that doesn't make me some kind of fool. I know what I know, and you have to just trust me for once."

"That's just it, Daniel! I can't. Not about this. The safety of the whole team is more important. And face it, you have the universe's worst track record with women."

Unfortunately, he hit a nerve, and the pain in his friend's eyes told him that Daniel had immediately thought of the wrong woman. "I can't believe you'd say that to me."

"Well, I didn't mean it that way, just that you always see good in people- even where there isn't any." Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "I won't watch you get hurt again. Take my advice and stay away from her."

"I can't do that. Everyone deserves a friend."

"Fine! Don't come crying on my shoulder when she goes nuts."

"Nuts?"

"You know what I mean."

"I have work to do." Daniel was good and mad.

"Daniel.."

"No, Jack. If you can't give her the benefit of the doubt, you could at least listen to me. But you won't. You aren't willing to. And I don't want to have an argument with you. So just leave."

Jack didn't know what to say, so he went. Their friendship had just taken another hit. He knew it was his fault, especially after the NID thing, but just knew there was something off ... His bloodwork had been normal, his last psych eval fine, he repeated to himself. It had to be Baker. He didn't want Daniel hurt again. It was his job to look out for him, though he hadn't done a very good job so far..._ Like Kawalsky_. Don't go there.

He needed to find out more about Major Baker. He had one more call he could make. Maybourne. His last resort. Gah! He was reduced to calling in favors from on-the-run criminals! But Harry knew things, he knew who was after who. He left a message for him, and waited for the return call. It came just half an hour later.

"Hello, Jack."

"Harry." Jack sat for a second. "I wanted to find out some things about someone who worked on the dark side."

"NID?"

"No, black ops. I'll give you a name. Major Anna Baker, marines." Jack heard a hiss from the other man. "What? You know her?"

"Jack, I'm telling you this as a friend." Yeah, right, Jack thought. "Stay away from her. Far away. I can't talk about it, but trust me on this."

"What? Harry, I need to know. Someone assigned her to SG-1"

"That's too bad."

"Is she a threat to the SGC? Was she one of yours?" God, if she was NID he was going to kill her.

There was silence on the other end, then he said, "If she's at the SGC, then yes, there's danger. Maybe not the kind you're expecting. You might want to make yourself scarce, Jack. They only send her out for something ugly. Whatever she's there for, stay out of her way. Or they'll get you, too. They may already have." Click.

Jack stared at the silent phone. What the hell? He was more confused now than before.


	4. Chapter 4

The next mission was a cake walk, or so Jack O'Neill hoped. Go to another planet with nothing there but forest, grab some dirt and rocks, maybe a little water, and spend the rest of the time lazing around while the science twins gabbled to each other.

The first of three days went as expected, with Carter and Daniel gathering bits of dirt and sticking it into little vials. There was nothing to look at, except, oh wow! Trees. He hated planets like this. Nothing for miles around but trees. Give him a nice lake to fish in and he'd be happy.

He saw Teal'c-near the scientists- and Baker- far from the scientists- where Jack had assigned their watch points, and took a minute to study Baker. She wasn't anything he'd term unusual, except that her eyes were always searching and assessing. He didn't trust her. There was something wrong. He just didn't know what it was yet. He almost growled when her gaze settled in his direction for a split second before she turned her back to him. She watched him, he watched her.

Yes, he really needed to find out what she was hiding. In some corner of his mind, he knew this wasn't like him. This anger and emotional overload. He ignored the voice that said he was obsessed with Major Baker, that said he was acting strange, feeling strange. Brushing his hat along his leg, he tried to burn a hole into her back with his glare.

Carter and Daniel were discussing possible reasons for the humans to have left this planet when it was so fertile, when Sam leaned in close to the man and spoke.

"What's wrong with Colonel O'Neill?" It must bother Carter a lot for her to mention it to them.

"I don't know, and I don't think he does either. I don't think it really has anything to do with Anna, though. It's something else."

"I don't have any problem with her, but she's a bit standoff-ish. I am worried about the Colonel, though." Carter sipped some water. "He's been... off."

Teal'c looked down at them for a moment. "I find that to be an accurate assessment."

"Did anyone try to talk to him?"

Daniel sighed. "I asked him what was bothering him, and he wouldn't even admit something was wrong. He's been this way for months, but not so often, just the occasional thing."

"I, too, have expressed my concern to him. He did not wish to listen." Teal'c stared at the horizon.

"It has been worse since she came. I mean, he's even been yelling at General Hammond." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you think he's seen Janet?"

Daniel looked at her. He hadn't even thought of a medical reason. "I have no idea. Maybe we should tell her to check him over really well?"

Sam shrugged, and checked the time. If things didn't get better soon, someone would have to talk to O'Neill. Whatever was going on with him was getting worse, causing trouble for the team. "Daniel, let's finish this up. I'm ready to go home."

88888888

The Jaffa warrior sat thinking of his friend. He worried for his team. He didn't think O'Neill was suffering from any of the afflictions that were common to soldiers. He'd not seen evidence of any depression, perhaps a surfeit of emotion, but not depression. He'd seen that the man was hiding things, though, so it was possible that this was simply not obvious.

Teal'c had also noticed the overly careful way his team leader watched MajorBaker. He also observed that she watched O'Neill. He had caught her gaze following him several times. Each time she'd simply looked his way and something indefinable passed over her face. He would say the closest word to describe it was despondent.

Jack chose that moment to emerge from his tent. "Hey, why didn't you wake me for watch, T?" The colonel really hated when they let him sleep through his watch.

"I had no need of additional Kel-no-reem."

"Ah." Jack looked at Baker, and she met his eyes over the coffee pot. To him, they were dark and cold. Empty. He'd wanted to catch her alone, question her. Damn. Things never work out. Daniel and Carter were stirring in their tents, so it wouldn't be long before they could move along. His head was killing him, and he wanted to get this done so they could go home.

There was the occasional murmured conversation, but for the most part, the camp remained silent. Jack surveyed the surroundings, looking for signs of anyone having disturbed the area away from camp. Nope, nothing. See, boring mission. Except that Daniel could find trouble anywhere. He rubbed his head. Why couldn't he let that go? Daniel did fine on lots of missions, why was he suddenly so worried about him?

"Sir, I'd like to head to the east before we leave. There were some slight variations in the temperature, and the UAV images showed some caves." Caves? Oh, just what they needed. Caves were usually bad news for his team. However, the General had reminded him just before leaving that part of his mission included finding resources for use in defending against the Goau'ld. Like minerals that might be used for weapons. " The temperature variations could be the result of natural springs, or vents from the planet's core. But I think it's something else. The UAV's readings picked up a significant amount of-"

"OK, I get it, Carter. Kids, lets finish packing this up and get the show on the road." He sighed. He felt old. Why was he so tired? "We're heading off to the east. How far are these caves?"

"About five kilometers, sir." Great, his knees just loved the long walks through the woods.

They made decent time despite their leisurely pace. Jack almost hoped Baker would find a hole and fall in it. She took her duties seriously, always positioning herself to protect Daniel, the civilian. Not that he seemed to even notice, but hell, it was Jack's job to do that, not anyone else's. Was she trying to take over his position? He would bide his time, but he knew he had to do something, and soon.

8888888888

Someone was approaching her position from behind. She waited and just at the right moment, she threw herself into a spin. Her hands grabbed the weapon before her mind knew it was there. She thrust the heal of her hand into the chest of her attacker. She could hear someone yelling at her, but couldn't let it distract her. Her elbow connected with the man's face and she heard a cry of pain. Another pair of hands grabbed her from behind. She didn't realize she was cursing in Goau'ld. How'd he sneak up on her? Trying to break the hold, she felt a fist to the jaw. Her head felt like it was being torn apart. She felt her back and leg against the cave wall, the rought stone tearing through her uniform to the skin. Everything started to fade. One last chance. She managed to get her fingers on her knife and flipped it up into her hand. She felt the blade slice into flesh, and then a prick in her shoulder. Drugs! Oh, God, NO! Was her last thought as she lost consciousness.

Daniel ran over and supported her head as Teal'c lowered her to the ground. Jack was cursing a blue streak, one hand to his bleeding nose. Carter was trying to look at the cut on Teal'c's arm. Daniel felt ill. Seeing what she'd been able to do, alone, in the dark, disturbed him. He knew she'd been a pretty effective weapon but seeing it was different than theorizing.

"I don't care what Hammond says. That lunatic doesn't belong in the field. She's ruined!" Jack paused as Sam touched his nose. "I know it's not broken, Carter. Leave it alone. Teal'c you alright? OK, we're getting out of here."

Anna woke up on the way and seemed to be in a daze. When they entered the embarkation room, Jack ordered her taken into custody. "Make sure she can't go anywhere but the infirmary, and no one gets close to her. Use a zat-twice if you have to." With those angry words, Jack headed to the infirmary for his post-mission physical.

Janet got to Anna. "What happened?"

Anna shrugged, as if uncaring of everything around her. "I lost it." Simple and to the point. "I couldn't tell who was an enemy and who was a friendly."

"Anna..."

"They're going to put me in a very secure prison."

"Well, maybe they won't. It's possible they might want to put you into a hospital." Janet met her eyes. "I could recommend it, if you want."

Anna smiled with absolutely no humor. "A psychiatric hospital? Which one can handle a case like mine? The Tok'ra would love to take me, though, I'd make a wonderful subject for study."

"Maybe if I talk to Colonel O'Neill..."

The marine looked into the doctor's concerned eyes. "It won't matter. This certainly won't change his mind."

"Well, I can keep you here..."

"Janet, I can't stay here." Anna remained impassive. "You're my friend, right?"

"Of course." Janet was really worried now.

"Is there something you can inject me with, something painless? Actually, it doesn't really have to be painless, just effective."

Janet gasped. "Oh, Anna! I can't do that! I can't believe you'd even ask me to do that! Let me talk to the General, or someone, but don't even think of that!"

The marine held Janet's eyes. "I'm gong to die anyway."

Laying her hand on the other woman's arm, she said, "Let's just get you fixed up for now, and figure the rest out later."

She stared at her without expression, then started shrugging out of her clothes. Janet was fuming by the time she finished suturing her friends leg and cleaning the burn on her side. She directed the other woman to an ISO room so she could keep an eye on her. Storming back into the infirmary, she slapped her hands on the bed where Anna had just sat. She was going to kill Jack. Speak of the devil, there he was. Slinking out from behind a curtain. "How long have you been in here?"

"The whole time. And before you say anything, I want you to tell me what's going on- and none of that patient confidentiality stuff!"

"Sir, I can't do that." She spread her hands in helplessness. "Any more than I could discuss your recent concerns with her."

"Doc, when a member of a team like ours is suicidal, I think you damn well can tell me! And what was that about the Tok'ra?" Jack's face was red with anger.

"I thought she wasn't part of your team? At least as far as you're concerned."

"I mean it, doc, if you don't tell me-"

"Dr. Frasier, can you and Colonel O'Neill follow me to the briefing room?" George Hammond stood in the doorway. He did not look pleased.


	5. Chapter 5

"First, I want it to be absolutely clear that this information is classified. Nothing that I tell you is to be repeated ever again. As a matter of fact, forget about it the minute you leave this room." They had already done the debriefing, and Hammond clearly was uncomfortable. Now Teal'c, Carter, Daniel and Jack, joined by Doctor Frasier sat around the table. Carter and Jack on one side, the doctor, the Jaffa and Daniel on the other. Lines drawn.

"It better be telling us that Baker is unfit for duty and you're shipping her out." Jack sat back in his chair. "She tried to kill me- and Teal'c! I can't keep my team safe when there's a threat from people supposedly on my side."

"Listen to me, Jack. Here is where things stand. I just got off the phone with the President. He informed me in no uncertain terms that I am to make sure Major Baker is taken care of." Hammond stared at them one by one. "This is a special request, meaning an order."

Jack stared around the table. For one second, Jack couldn't remember what they'd been talking about. "OK." He glanced around, the various expressions of confusion telling him that was the wrong thing to say, or at least for him to say. Oh, he remembered. Baker. He scowled and rubbed his head.

"He wants her home in her own bed tonight, and back at the SGC in the morning. Now," he held up his hand at the colonel. "She won't be on any away team, but will a part of this program. He wants her here for something, and now she's listed as on a special assignment." His voice rolled with frustration.

"Sir, this is absolute crap and you know it. I can't see him ordering you to ignore a marine attacking a commanding officer!"

"Jack!" The general's voice snapped. "Dr. Frasier, please."

"Thank you, sir. First of all, let me tell you that I'm only revealing this information because I think it's in Anna's best interests." Janet let that sink in for a moment. "I'll give you a bit of background. You all know Major Baker was involved in covert operations. Not long after the Stargate program was restarted, she was transferred to Area 51 and gained the trust of a few NID higher-ups. She was all set to begin going off-world for Maybourne. But then she disappeared for 8 months."

"So I was right. She was working for NID." Jack didn't bother to hide his disgust.

"Actually, Colonel," Janet sent him an icy look, "it was by presidential order that she was assigned there. And she was there to assess the security of the facility, reporting directly to the President. When she relayed her suspicions about the rogue group, he asked that she attempt to gain access. But someone knew about her and she was taken prisoner. She was beaten and" Janet's voice faltered "tortured. After 4 months of interrogations, they found a better use for her. As a test subject. Well, at least the NID agent who tortured her died in a car accident."

Her statement was met with silence. Janet Frasier was a compassionate woman, not a vindictive one. They all knew he had to be a monster for her to voice such a feeling. After a few tense seconds, Sam questioned, "What kind of tests?"

"Memory. Apparently they somehow modified a memory device so that it implanted memories, rather than extracting them. NID had a Goau'ld in custody- no one important, according to the report, but he knew enough to create this device. And he was the only one who knew how to make it work. He was given free reign with his experiments."

"To what purpose?" Teal'c questioned.

"I don't know." Janet sighed.

"Where did they find and grab a Goau'ld?" Jack wanted to know.

"On one of their illegal off-world missions. His name was Ramtek and he's dead now, killed by Anna in the escape."

"That would exlplain the headaches. The device." Daniel sent Jack a look and waved his hand. "And the whole knowing languages we don't. That would make an excellent resource for the SGC. Teams wouldn't have to spend the time learning something, they can just, uh, download what someone else knows."

"Correct. But there are side effects. Some of the other test subjects suffered severe brain damage. The human brain can only hold so much. We learned that when the Colonel had the knowledge of the Ancients inserted in his brain." Janet cleared her throat. "That's really all there is in the medical file."

"What, we're supposed to be OK with the way she is because she was tortured?" Jack snorted. "If that were the case, we'd all be allowed to do whatever we want."

Hammond's voice slapped him. "Colonel. She is here to see if she recognizes things from these... memory additions. She has knowledge of technology out there that could help us fight the Goa'uld. " His voice softened. "Please. Just try to behave."

"Ok. Geesh."

"Doctor, is letting her go home going to be a problem? Health-wise, I mean." The general pursed his lips. "I don't need another presidential ass-chewing." Everyone in the room stared at General Hammond with expressions of surprise.

"I don't see why not, as long as she has someone there with her. Her wounds," she glared at Jack, "weren't treated quickly and I would prefer to have someone there to make sure she takes her medications and monitor her condition."

"I'll do it." Everyone's eyes jerked to Daniel. "Well, I think I'm the only one, besides Teal'c, who's made any effort to get to know her, so..."

"I am not letting you go by yourself with that lunatic!" Jack growled at Daniel.

"See, it's kinda, oh, infuriating when you call someone a lunatic. You're just so quick to believe a person is insane." Daniel waved his fingers in front of his face. He knew it was a low blow. It immediately put Jack on the defensive.

"That's not what I meant. I just don't think you know what you're getting into."

"Jack, I'm not a child!"

"Daniel."

"Jack!"

"Daniel, I mean it."

"Gentlemen! Dr. Frasier, do you have a problem with this?" Hammond interupted. "Maybe another female would be more appropriate?" He was worried about regulations.

"Not at all, sir. I think Daniel is the best choice. Anna won't be uncomfortable with him." She smiled at the archaeologist.

"Then it's settled. Dismissed."

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When he pulled into the driveway, he wasn't surprised to see Jack's truck parked along the road. Shaking his head, he went around to the passenger side. Jack hovered as she went inside, set the alarm on the door, told them to make themselves at home, and went upstairs. She didn't look at either of them once.

"So, Daniel, want to tell me why you volunteered for babysitting duty?" Jack appeared casual while he craned his neck around to look at everything.

"Because it was the right thing to do."

"Oh come on, Daniel. She's dangerous."

"Even knowing what you do, having lived through some of what she did, you still won't give her a chance." Daniel shook his head. "You gave me one, in the beginning, what's so different about her?"

"You're different. She's not like you. She's nuts, er, unstable... Aw, you know what I mean." Jack set his jaw.

"How do you know what she's like, Jack? Have you made any effort at all to find out?"

"Hell, no! Why would I do something like that? I have enough junk in my own head. I don't want to peek into hers. You know me."

"Jack, I don't know who you are. " Daniel's eyes were sad.

"Aw, Danny..." Jack hated that look in the younger man's eyes. It cut right to his heart. So disappointed. In him. But he couldn't help it... He'd followed him without actually making the decision to do so. He just couldn't think straight. He almost came right out and told Daniel, but he didn't know what was actually happening to him.

"I don't think you should be here, Jack."

"I don't think _you_ should be here."

"She needs help. I'm going to help her." Daniel sighed. "Why can't you just trust me?"

"Daniel, I told you. I can't trust her." Jack put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "I can't. The team's safety is more important. You're safety is more important."

Daniel gritted his teeth. "Look, I'm tired. You shouldn't be here. I think you'd better go."

Jack dropped his hand. He knew that look. Nothing he said was going to change Daniel's mind.

"And leave you with her?" Jack snapped. "May as well make ourselves comfortable. I'll see what's on the tv." He went to the living room to see a huge television. Finding the remote, he dropped into the couch and turned it on.

He could hear Daniel moving around in the kitchen. There wasn't anything on tv, and all her books appeared to be either romance novels- who'd have thought?- or history books. He sighed. OK, Daniel was mad. And he guessed he'd be pretty angry, too, if his best friend suddenly seemed to have no respect for him, but he was afraid. After all the times he'd hurt thinking Daniel was dead, he was afraid to hurt that much anymore. He turned off the tv and went into the kitchen. He needed to be physically near Daniel right now.

"What're you up to?"

Daniel turned from the stove. "I'm cooking. Well, actually, I'm just heating soup, but I really don't feel hungry anymore."

"Daniel..." Jack wasn't sure how to start talking to the younger man. He'd been so worried, his emotions all over the place... Was he having some kind of mid-life crisis?

"Don't Jack. Don't tell me you're just looking out for me." The archaeologist stared hard at him. "I'm not a fool or a child. And I won't let your own issues prevent me from helping someone, or befriending them."

"What issues?" Jack regretted the words the second they left his mouth. Daniel knew him better than anyone else. He couldn't fool him. Not for long.

"Listen, I know you have, well, bad memories. You've done things... " Daniel gave him a look full of sympathy. "Do you think you're, I don't know... maybe there's something going on we don't know about."

"That's the stupidest- Damn it, Daniel! Even Maybourne doesn't want anything to do with her!"

Daniel licked his lips. "Yeah, see, I like to think I'm nothing like Maybourne."

Jack had nothing to say. "Soup's done."

"Yeah, listen, I'm going to go upstairs and sleep a little." Daniel turned off the stove. "Don't snoop."

"Who me?"

"Jack, don't."

"Alright! You go sleep, and I'll" he waved his hand, "find something to read or... something."

Daniel nodded. "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. G'night."

"Yeah, see you."

Jack wandered around, checked the books again- hey, a fish cookbook, looked interesting. He tried to get into her computer, but it looked like it'd take Carter and a whole team of computer techs to get anywhere. She had no photos of friends or family. There was no artwork on the walls. It was more like a motel than a home. Finally, he found a stack of manuals. Medical manuals, tactical manuals. Some light reading? Grabbing one, He took it to the kitchen and got a bowl of the soup. After a while, he saw it was time to give Baker the medicines Janet had sent with them. Damn. He didn't want to wake Daniel. He knew how tired he was, and Daniel slept less than him.

But since he didn't think the younger man would appreciate him doing it, he woke Daniel anyway.

It seemed to take hours to wake her, but in fact it was only minutes, before she stiffened. "Damn, Janet slipped me a sleeping pill. I feel so groggy."

Just then the lights went on in the back yard. A small crack sounded through the house, followed by another. What the -! Jack ran down the stairs, seeing the door had been smashed open. He could see three men coming in from the kitchen, two from the front with more outside. He ran back upstairs. Baker was pulling on sweats and a t-shirt, Daniel was helping her balance herself while keeping his eyes closed.

"Crap, that hurt." She was standing, but she was swaying. "Let's go."

"Wha- oh, yeah."

They ran down the hallway to the other bedroom. She opened the window and hit the window sill, hard. A ladder unrolled. Oh,one of those rope fire escapes. Daniel was trying to ask Baker about her injuries, but she waved him off.

"Go ahead. I'm gonna give her a hand." Yeah, and my knees feel fine, thanks for asking, he thought, a bit piqued, then brushed it off. He began climbing down. The ladder was about six feet short of the ground, but he managed.

Baker was panting, and he saw her leg and side had been bleeding. "Phone?"

Jack grabbed his keys and ran to his truck, keeping his head down and himself to the shadows. He rummaged in the glove box, found it and dialed SGC. When he got through, he gave the address.

"Stay quiet." There didn't appear to be anyone left around, but with the NID, you never knew.

"SGC's sending out the SF's. Fifteen minutes." He looked at Daniel, who had slumped next to the marine against the car.

"Jack, you alright?"

"Yeah, fine. You?"

"Good." Daniel tilted his head. "That was weird."

"Ooooh, yeah. We gotta make sure we stay hidden until they get here."

She jerked. "Watch them. Not safe."

"Not yet, but soon, if those damn MPs get here fast enough." Jack looked back at the house. "Who'd you piss off?"

"Colonel, I'm sorry. You don't know." Her voice was rough, her face pale. Her nose started bleeding. "They changed samples. Tests were never clean."

"Who?"

"Jack.. let her rest."

"'M OK." Her eyes were unfocused. Her body started to lean, and Daniel grabbed her. "Sorry. Sorry. I wanted to tell you... tell someone.""

Daniel watched Jack. Jack was staring at Anna, very intently. Actually, Daniel thought, he looks like he's working something out in his mind.

"Care to share?"

"Uh, Daniel, I don't think so. Not yet, at least."

They heard the sound of a car. Jack cautiously peeked around the fender. Black cars, SF's. Should be good to go. "Cavalry's here. Let's go." He helped Daniel pull Baker up. Just as they got clear, Baker jerked out of Jack's grip. What now? She was trying to drag Daniel towards the tree line.

"He was NID." She gasped it out.

Jack grabbed her arm, stopping her. "What the hell are you talking about? That's Sgt. Alvarez, I know him!" Her knees started to give, and Daniel supported her.

"Anna, we called the SGC."

"No, he's a mole." She was swaying on her feet, only Daniel's arm keeping her from falling flat on her face.

"Uh, Anna, are you sure?" Daniel peered down at her, his glasses making his eyes appear slightly off from his face.

"Yes, positive." Her face was ashen. They just had time to notice the zat guns.


	6. Chapter 6

Daniel came to slowly, realizing he was really sore. He groaned. He waited for his vision to clear. Good, he still had his glasses. How considerate. Finally, he could see he was in a large room, tied to the wall. Jack was ten or so feet away. OK, they'd done this before. Looking around, he saw a few lab tables, a couple of chairs and a small rolling cart. Hey, where was Anna? "Jack," he whispered.

"Huh, Daniel? Ouch! I hate those things. You OK?" Jack pulled at his wrists. "I'm pretty sure I can't get loose. You?"

"I think I'm OK. I might be able to wiggle one hand free. Oh, that can't be good."

"What?" Jack stretched his neck trying to see what Daniel was looking at.

"Uh, a table full of instruments."

"Instruments. You know, this just sucks."

Daniel snorted. "Yeeaah."

The door opened, and Alvarez entered. He was pulling a rope behind him. Oh, that's really, really bad. The rope's other end was tied around Anna's neck, and her hands were bound behind her back. She didn't seem to have any additional injuries, but to Daniel, she looked a bit feverish. Damn, she was probably getting an infection.

"Well, well. I'm going to get a very large Christmas bonus this year. I not only brought Baker back in, I got the two worst pains in the asses for extra credit."

"What do you want?"

"Colonel, that's a stupid question. We want what we always want. We want to pick your brains. Oh, and we want you dead, too. Actually, we expected you to be gone already." He jerked the rope, and Anna fell to her knees. "I'm expecting company soon, so we should get started."

"See, I'm not really dressed for a party." Jack had to say it. He couldn't break the habit of taunting people who held him prisoner.

"Colonel, I'm going to give you the choice. Pick: Dr. Jackson or yourself." Alvarez smirked. "Of course, you don't know what you're choosing, but that's half the fun."

"Bite me. I won't choose anyone."

"Well, we'll have to do this the hard way." He motioned to a guard. "Hook them all up."

Despite their struggles, Daniel and Jack found themselves with their arms tied above their heads, rope hanging over a beam and wrapped around a hook. They watched as the men moved Anna in front of them. The rope around her neck was thrown up over a beam and secured.

"Let's play a game, shall we? I'm going to show you a video, Colonel, then you can make your choice." Alvarez nodded to the same guard. A tv was wheeled in, and the man pressed on. The screen flashed with static, then an image faded in. A woman knelt next to a car, changing a tire. Sara! Oh, God, they were watching his ex-wife. Jack closed his eyes. Choose between his ex-wife and their safety now? He didn't even know what he was choosing, life, death? Niether? God, how could he do this? "Now, choose."

"Alright! Me, I choose me." He really hoped he was making the right choice.

"No, Jack! Wait!" Daniel pulled at his ropes in protest.

Alvarez picked up a box from the table. Opening it, he pulled out two small discs. Hey, those almost looked like memory devices, but one was slightly larger. Oh, not those things they'd used on Baker. He pulled away when the traitor approached, but felt the discomfort of the device as it was attached to his temple.

"You gonna put stuff in my head?"

Alvarez leaned close to Baker. "No, I'm going to put it in hers." He stuck the device on her head. She barely moved. Come to think of it, she was pretty much dazed.

"What's with her? Drugged?" Like me? He wanted to add.

"Hm? Oh, no, I think it's the concussion. She's a scrappy little thing." He laughed. "Let's get started, shall we?" He hit a button on a small device.

Jack could vaguely hear Daniel telling him to keep his mind blank but it sounded far away. He felt a pressure in his head, not painful, just uncomfortable. Memories swirled around his mind, Sara, Charlie, oh crap- Iraq, black ops missions, off-world stuff. Daniel dying, Sam in trouble. His head was spinning. There was too much to take all at once. He could feel blackness overtaking his consciousness. Then he felt nothing.

Daniel watched them attach the devices, and realized what they were going to do. He screamed at Jack, telling him to blank his mind, not think of anything, fight it, but knew it wouldn't help. Anna jerked once then began to shake. Her eyes squeezed shut and her back arched. He knew she was trying to focus on keeping her feet so she didn't hang herself while fighting the pain. After a few seconds her eyes flew open and she began to pant. Daniel kept struggling with his ropes and felt a bit of hope when there was some give. If he could get it loose, he might be able to free the others. If they left them alone. If.

The door flew open. A tall man with dark hair and black eyes stared at the scene. "Alvarez! You son of a bitch!" He walked two steps into the room and pulled out a pistol. Without blinking, he shot the man in the forehead. Alvarez was dead before he hit the floor. The man turned to the gaping guards. "He was told not to start without me."

He turned to Jack and Daniel as he removed the rope from her neck. "I'm Prescott. Major Prescott, NID." He walked to Anna and gently removed the memory device. Jack immediately woke with a mutter. "Anna, love, I've missed you so."

Jack shook his head. He slowly looked around, and Daniel saw when his mind focused. His eyes returned to Anna and Prescott, who was holding her face in his hands like a lover.

"God, that's just so wrong. And sick, did I mention sick?" Jack shook his head.

"Uh, Jack, maybe we shouldn't bait the psychotic soldier with the gun?" Daniel was hoping they could distract the crazy man from Anna. "I mean, he might decide he likes you. Not that you aren't an attractive man, well, not to me, but maybe, uh..."

"Thank you, Daniel. I'm sure you'd be considered attractive, too, in a really smart person kind of way."

"Shut up." Prescott stared at them. "Apparently, Alvarez decided to transfer O'Neill's memories to Anna."

"Does she have all of them?" Jack's cheek twitched.

Prescott smiled slyly. "Yes. Why, does it bother you?"

"Not really." If Daniel didn't know him that well, he might have believed it. "Too bad they don't erase them from my mind. But hey, I don't like Baker anyway, so no harm done."

"No, you don't. But Dr. Jackson is your friend, and he does like her. Don't you, Doctor?" Prescott slid his hand over Anna's thigh. "I bet this bothers you, doesn't it? Seeing me touch her, own her, " he ran his hand over her face, "and knowing you can't do anything to stop me."

"How did you get one of those devices? I wouldn't think the Goau'ld would just hand it over." Jack wanted to derail _this_ line of conversation _now_.

"I simply stole it. Not as hard as it sounds. Then I made a few adjustments, well, actually, my partner did, God rest her soul.'

Daniel didn't answer. God, he needed to do something to stop this. ""Why don't you just put the memories into your own brain?"

"Daniel!" Jack was staring at him like he'd lost his mind.

"Because it causes brain damage. Or death. And though the thought of all that knowledge is appealing, I won't risk my own life on a slim chance of living through it. And I don't really need her brain in working order." He suddenly grabbed the unconscious marine's chin. "Wake up!" Anna slowly opened her eyes and moaned. "That's it, baby. Wake up for me."

Daniel felt faintly nauseated by the man's obvious insanity. Something clicked. Let me be wrong, let me be wrong. "Hold on. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Oh, yes, that. I wanted to drop off the radar, so to speak. Didn't need anyone looking for me. I had plans to make." Prescott moved behind Anna. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. "I would have waited until she was alone, but that idiot did well enough to take all three of you."

Anna was staring stoically at the wall somewhere over Daniel's head. This was the guy Janet mentioned. The one she'd been glad was dead. He couldn't imagine how awful it must be, thinking someone like that was dead, then suddenly reliving one of your worst nightmares. No, actually, he could. It was probably like facing Hathor the second time.

Suddenly Prescott snapped his fingers. "Hey, I have a really great idea! I'm going to put Anna's memories into one of you! Won't that be fun?" He giggled. "I think it's only fair that it's you, Colonel, since she got your memories."

Jack swallowed and plastered his dumb Colonel look on his face. "Uh, can you pick and choose which ones? I mean, I don't really need memories of, uh, women things."

"Don't worry, I doubt you'll even notice those with all the other ones. Some of them are pretty nasty. I'd know, since I was there for some of them. But I have other things to do first, so I'll bring her back later to play." He dragged her from the room. Daniel knew by her dazed expression that she was still suffering the effects of the concussion or the memories, or both.

"Jack, we have to get out of here."

"Ya think?" Jack scrunched up his face and bit his lip. He couldn't see any way out with their hands tied the way they were; Prescott's men weren't amateurs. His shoulder muscles started to cramp, and his knees were getting stiff. He was getting too old for this. He looked at Daniel. Oh, crap. He had one of those, "Jack, we need to do something stupid" looks. Damn his self-sacrificing-hero complex! He forced himself to calm down. Irrational rage was not something he needed right now.

"Jack, I might be able to get my hands free. If I can, and I can get yours untied, we can use the, uh, sharp things on the table when the guards come back."

"OK. Sounds like a plan. We can figure it out from there." If Daniel could get him loose, he could try to get them out of here. What if he couldn't? "Hey, you know, uh, I probably need to tell you something. Why I've been acting so...crazy."

"What? Now?"

"Well, just in case. But I need a few minutes to think, first." Jack knew this was bad. He couldn't be sure of his instincts, couldn't be sure of himself.

Unfortunately, they only had a few minutes before the guards returned. Settling against the wall, they each took a swig of water. Daniel didn't think they looked too happy. "Uh, Jack?"

"Yeah? Got your hands free?"

"Nooo. I was thinking-"

"No, don't do that!"

"Well, about what you wanted to talk about?"

"Never mind. We can do that later. Daniel, just stick with the plan...at least until after those goons leave." Jack kept his voice down, but the guards looked their way. Did they hear them?

"Shut up over there!"

"Aw, make me!"

"Jack, what are you doing? I thought we wanted to avoid attention until I got my hands loose!" Daniel wanted to bang his head against a wall, but there wasn't a wall close enough. Didn't Jack just tell him to stick to the plan?

The guards only laughed. "Hey, could we have some water over here?" Jack just couldn't help it. Daniel closed his eyes. The guards ignored him. "Yeah, thanks! Daniel, I'm getting them used to us being noisy and moving a bit."

They remained that way for a long time; Jack would occasionally shout out and the bad guys pretended they didn't notice. Suddenly the door was flung open. Prescott walked in, literally dragging Baker in by her arm. She wasn't conscious, and she was a bloody mess. Daniel winced. He could see bruises forming on most of her face, her clothes were ripped and her hair was matted with blood. He could see her wrists bore finger shaped marks as well. Damn! She'd been worked over pretty well.

Prescott dropped her arm. She flopped limply to the floor. Grabbing a bottle of water, he poured it on Anna's face. She woke, gasping and moaning. He whispered something to her too quietly for the others to hear. She must have answered him, and he didn't like it. He grabbed her hair and yanked her to her feet. He held up a small disc. "This one's for O'Neill." He crossed the room and pushed into Jack's head. He grinned evilly. Pulling the controller from his pocket he said, "I added a few new memories for you. Hope you enjoy the show."

Jack's eyes went blank for a minute. Daniel watched his face start to twitch, and then Jack started to scream. Daniel renewed his efforts to free himself, ignoring the pain in his wrists. He could feel blood seeping into the sleeve of his shirt, but kept trying. He had to get them out of here. Yes, he felt the rope slip. His hands were free! He froze when one of the guards stood and walked to him.

"Can't have you running off." And he raised a pistol. Daniel's heart raced. He wanted to move, but felt paralyzed. The man aimed and fired.

"Argh! Oh God!" The pain in his thigh was like fire. He fell to the floor. He could hear Anna's horrible noises of pain and his own moans. Jack was screaming, curses in more languages than he knew before, courtesy of the marine. Prescott's insane laughter was simply more background noise. It was like a horrible chorus for the damned.


	7. Chapter 7

Suddenly, the room erupted into chaos. SF agents swarmed from the doorway, firing away. Sam! He saw her aim her zat and fire at Prescottt. Yelling orders to the other soldiers, Sam pulled the device from his head and flung it across the room. She freed him from his ropes and helped him stand. He looked slightly dazed.

"Jack!" Daniel was clutching his leg. He was surprised when Jack shrugged off Sam's hands and staggered away to lean against the wall. His hands were cupped on either side of his head. Daniel imagined he had a hellish headache. Oh, if Jack had all that running around in his brain, he probably wasn't thinking too clearly.

Sam gave a small, confused shrug and knelt by Daniel. "We came in as soon as we heard the gunfire. I'm so sorry, Daniel." She kept a grip on his hand as a medic arrived to check his leg. He flinched slightly when an IV line was inserted into his arm. He was glad for it though, since the pain in his leg immediately eased.

He looked beyond the blond major to Anna. Two medics were trying to check her over, but she was trying to fight the men. Her movements were leaving thick smears of blood on the gray floor. He could hear her speaking in Goau'ld. His mind was too foggy to understand it. He shivered. "Jack," he croaked. He tried again. "Jack!"

Jack came over and knelt down. "Are you OK? I'm sorry, Danny." He rested his hand on Daniel's shoulder. He'd almost lost him again.

"No, Anna. 'M OK. 'Elp er." The painkiller was making him drowsy. He concentrated. "Help Anna."

Jack's head swiveled around. "Crap!" He hurried to the struggling trio. "Stay and help Daniel, Carter."

The marine had stopped moving, laying in a shaking ball on the floor. He took off his shirt and covered her the best he could with it. God, what a mess.

"She has no idea where she is or what the hell is going on. " Jack knelt by Baker. He wondered where she thought she was. Hell, she could be living in half a dozen people's nightmares, including his own. He rubbed a hand over his face. He watched Teal'c help Daniel over. Carter strode purposefully next to him. She passed the table with the implements and kicked it over. Jack felt his face twitch with shock. Temper tantrums weren't her normal thing.

"Carter, you alright?"

"Yes, sir. I'm just really disgusted over this." Her lips tightened. "And I feel guilty."

Why would she feel guilty? "Carter, there's no reason to feel guilty. What could you have done?"

"I should have listened to you." Jack flinched at the bitterness in her voice. "Sorry, sir."

"Don't be. It's on me. Well, anyway, Carter, make sure she isn't gonna die right now, and we'll take her to Frasier. Daniel, let the medics take care of you."

Daniel rode in the unmarked ambulance with Anna. He was so tired he could barely think, but he forced himself to quietly murmur to her. He hoped it helped. By the time they were in the infirmary, his eyes were closing. He barely heard Jack's voice saying he'd be alright.

Jack stared at his friend. God, Daniel'd been shot in front of him, almost killed. Again. In front of him. He hunched down into the chair.

It was his job, his life, to protect them. All of them. And he'd failed. Sure, they managed to survive most of the time. Thank God for the sarcophagus, the Asgard, the Tok'ra, the Nox, because he sure as hell hadn't been able to save anyone those times. Was that his problem? He just wanted to keep any possible threat from his team. Was he becoming paranoid about everything that might hurt them?

He felt guilty for not trusting Daniel, for taking his paranoia too far. Not that it was his fault. Damn it! All he'd done was alienate Daniel because he was afraid. Because of something beyond his control. He hated the NID. He could see how this all came about, now that he thought about it. Now that he _knew_ about it. He should have made Janet put him on medical stand down. He should have talked to Daniel. Hell, he was an ass.

And he needed to see Janet again, and then talk to Hammond.

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"Sir, I'd like a word with you." Jack leaned in the doorframe of General Hammond's office. Janet Frasier stood just behind him. "It's about Baker."

"Jack, I've already told you. Several times. This is something coming from higher than me. Besides, according to Dr. Frasier, she won't be alive long enough to be a problem for you."

"Yeah, I know. I know all of it. I have the last few months of Baker's life in my head." He paused. "Can we come in? Please, George."

"Alright." Shaking his head, the general tossed aside a file. "Is this worth opening the drawer?"

A shot of courage? "Oh, yeah. Listen, I have to tell you some things. First, uh, Baker was sent in here on purpose. She was hiding from those goons, that's true. But she was also here for me. Well, to watch me, anyway."

"What!" George carefully set down the bottle. "I need an explanation."

"I was apparently singled out. They wanted to get rid of me. I don't know, something about my suspicious nature." He pursed his lips, trying to find the words. "They gave me a drug long before Baker came, months before. The Doc can explain it better."

Janet straightened. "It's almost totally undetectable, unless you know what to look for. I believe it was given on a regular basis by a certain nurse who has not come back to work since the rescue. Apparently, Anna knew about it, but was prevented from saying anything."

"Prevented?" Hammond stared at her.

"Brainwashing. Mind control. You know the Goa'uld can do that. Well, they did it. The NID. She couldn't help it. The most she could do was come and observe, maybe find out who gave him the drug."

"Jack, are you compromised?"

"No, maybe." He rubbed his neck and took a drink. It burned, but it spread a bit of warmth through him.

"I need to know. What does this drug do?"

"It causes a person, me in this case, to-" He didn't know how to explain this right.

The doctor took over for him. "It causes fluctuations in every single hormone and most mood stabilizing chemical in the body. Some are just minor fluctuations, others are more severe. We didn't notice them because someone switched the test results." She grimaced. "Since the Colonel has amazingly avoided serious injuries in the last few months, I didn't personally monitor every test."

"What do these levels cause?"

"Oh a whole party of insanity in my brain." Jack said, but rather than his usual wittiness, it sounded more weary.

"The friction between you and Dr. Jackson?" George asked casually, letting him know Janet had ratted him out.

"Yes, partly. I had trouble sleeping, and some lapses in memory. Also, some paranoia. I started to obsess about Charlie, everything reminded me of people I couldn't save. Especially Daniel."

"Jack-" Hammond stopped, not sure what to say.

"It affected my behavior, my attitude. I was feeling too much. Every time Daniel did something _Daniel-y _I over-reacted. I got angry. I thought of Charlie being dead, and then Daniel being dead. Fear made me angry, too. Arguing made me angry. Hell, I couldn't stand to be near him, but I was terrified when he wasn't in my sight." He let his head sink back. "When Baker came, I focused a bit more on being paranoid about her. She knew about the drug."

"How?"

"She remembered it. Well, she saw someone else's memories. However you say it." Jack waved a slightly shaking hand. "She wanted to try and warn me, but trying to act agaist the brainwashing was impossible. She was trying to find the mole. I think it was supposed to be her last hope of redemption. I get the feeling she had some issues with her former mission objectives. She was slowly going insane, George. I can relate. I only had a few months of her life, she had years of who knows how many people's lives."

"What were they hoping to accomplish?"

"They were hoping I'd get sent to the psych ward at Academy. Once my behavior had gotten to the point where I couldn't function, they'd have let my real test results out. They could have taken it from there." He paused. "Otherwise, if I could hide it well enough, I'd eventually snap and either kill someone or take myself out. They were banking on my, uh, past history and the stress of the job to explain it away." He shuddered.

"Treatment is fairly simple, once the drug is no longer being administered. He's pretty much back to normal already." Janet smiled.

"This is all in your report?" George pursed his lips. "You know you'll have to see the psychiatrist."

"Yeah, and you know what? I kinda think I need to. I really thought I was going crazy." And he isn't sure he still isn't. "But not McKenzie."

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Daniel opened his eyes slowly. He felt slightly detached from his body, and his mind was sluggish. He slid his gaze to the left to see Jack dozing in one of the infirmary chairs. As the memories came back, he squeezed his eyes closed. He watched a nurse enter the room and smile at him.

"I've got to ask you the usual questions." And doesn't that suck, that there are 'usual questions'?

After he answered to her satisfaction, Janet came in. They remained quiet as she double-checked his chart. "Well Daniel, it looks like you'll be just fine."

"Anna?"

Janet's face tightened. "She's suffered massive brain damage. I don't think it's going to be long before..." she trailed off.

"I'm sorry. I know you liked her."

"So did you." Ah, always with Janet, patients came first. She'd grieve in private.

"Yeah." They were silent for a minute. "How could she have lived that way for so long?"

"Daniel, what they did to her, well, I can tell you, it was hard for her."

"You have no idea." They both turned to Jack, who was rubbing his hand up and down his face. "I only got some of her memories, but what I got was bad. It was worse than having an Ancient database in my head."

"Well, Colonel, as you can see, Daniel is going to be fine, so I want you to get some rest."

"In a minute."

"You get five."

"Jack..." He didn't know what to say. How had they gotten here? Where simply being alone together made him uncomfortable?

"Daniel..."

"It wasn't your fault. Mind altering substances excuse most anything."

"Yeah, but I said some things..." Jack's voice trailed off.

"I know. And if I really believed you, well, I'd be pretty mad, Jack."

"The thing is, though, I do. Worry, I mean. The drug didn't add things, just made them more...volatile."

"Yes, and we worry about you. We're a team." Daniel sighed. "We knew there was something wrong. We should have helped you despite what you said or did."

"You didn't know all of it. I kinda hid some things from everyone. I'm sorry." Jack said quietly. There wasn't much more to say. He could explain all he wanted, it would still take time. Just as it had taken time after so many other times their trust had been bent.

"Me, too."

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A week later, Daniel, with Teal'c's help, managed a visit with Anna. She was hooked up to wires and tubes. He sat for a few minutes, wondering what she would have been like if she hadn't gone through that. He was startled when he saw her eyes were wide and staring. She struggled to speak to him.

"Daniel?"

"Shh. Don't talk. I'll get Janet." She grabbed his arm with surprising strength.

"He's scared...of losing...you...all of you."

"What? Let me get the doctor, OK?"

Her eyes squeezed shut then opened, burning with something. "O'Neill... loves you...brother."

"Anna, be still, calm down." Her monitors were beeping a little faster. He heard nurses rushing into her area.

"His memories. Loves you... family. Scared.. of you... for you... fail you. Drug ... made him... act... " Her eyes slid closed as the monitors screamed. He was gently pulled away by Teal'c. They watched in silence as every treatment and life saving measure was tried. She was gone.

"I am sorry, DanielJackson. She was a fine warrior and an honorable person."

"Yeah." He felt sad for her, sad for his loss, and confused. But, God, he was glad she had finally found some relief to her suffering. She wasn't tormented by what had been done to her. He went to his bed. He stared at the wall, thinking.

He asked the nurse to see if Jack could come to the infirmary. All the things Jack had said and done... it had hurt. In the end, though, was it important? They were friends. More than that.

When Jack entered, a suspiciously short time later -had he been waiting in the hall?- Daniel wanted to tell him so many things. "I missed you." _I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I forgive you, you're my friend, I love you. You're my family.  
_

He felt Jack's arm slide around his neck and pull his head and shoulders into a hug. "Yeah." _Thank you, I missed you more, I didn't mean any of that stuff, I love you, too._

* * *

_A/N See there was a reason Jack was acting totally out of character. _ Anna Baker was only there to provide a way for Jack's problems to be noticeable to everyone, including himself. She also provided a way for everyone to learn what was happening while keeping the players for the bad guys mainly hidden.


End file.
